deathshandmaid:

She couldn’t help but laugh to express her amusement, and what a great feeling it was!  The way it bubble brightly in her chest and left her feeling very near to breathless. His downtrodden appearance in the face of her rejection made her feel, not exactly bad, but maybe bad for him.  She released the skull in her hand and caught it with her telekinesis so that it bobbed in the air just behind her shoulder.

Aradia stepped closer to Equius and reached out to pat his shoulder in consolation.  ”Thank you for the offer!  It was very sweet.”

She stepped past him, into the dim interior of the hive, wings giving a faint flutter and closing tightly  together to avoid brushing the doorframe. The skull bobbed in after her like a balloon without a string.  ”I don’t know, I think it’s very nice out tonight!” 

She turned on her heel once inside and looked at Equius once more.  Her head tilted in curiosity, hair falling across her face.  ”I wasn’t expecting you to be here. In fact I don’t think I thought about who would be anywhere!”  She was thinking about it now, of course, and wondering who else was here.  Sollux and Karkat were obvious, but it seemed as if she’d stumbled into a bit of a gathering.

That was rather exciting, now that she thought of it.  It could be just like the veil again, only this time she wouldn’t have to sit in a corner and not feel anything.

Yes, she had a very good feeling about this!

Equius felt his skin tighten where she had made contact with him. Even when her touch had left him, that patch of his skin still burned with the feeling of her fingers. It was a good burning, a passionate and eternal burn like the fire raging in his beatpump at the sound of her voice and the smell of her flesh. Equius swallowed a lump in his throat and wished to whatever powers that be that he had a towel at this moment. His eyes followed her behind his cracked shades as she moved past him. He wished that she would have brushed passed him, and made another form of physical contact. He just wanted to feel her. It was the only pleasant sensation he had had ever since the glitches began. He placed a hand as tenderly as possible on the spot Aradia had touched and let out a soft sigh. The offer was sweet.

He supposed it was a good thing coming from Aradia, but sweet had never been a term Equius thought of when considering himself. Perhaps that is because he did not care to be sweet at all. In fact, he was very disgusted by her, and yet wanted her all at the same time. His offer was probably more of a manipulation tool than a sweet gesture. However, when given more thought, Equius knew, though he would not care to admit, that he was indeed trying to be sweet to his beautiful Aradia.

 ”Yes, there are a lot of us here,” Equius informed her, closing the door as she entered. “However you may feel the outdoors are, they are dangerous. The glitches are very decieving.” Equius turned to her, his eyes fixated on hers. He saw his reflection in her gorgeous orbs and behind his glasses, his eyes darted to the floor. Those eyes, still without irises, were likely a part of this glitch. This meant Nepeta would want him to kill her too. 

But she might already be dead, he thought, as he saw Nepeta approaching Aradia from behind. He felt his body tense as his mind begged Nepeta silently to help him come up with another solution. Recycling their data may not even have an effect on the glitch. Nepeta’s eyes caught his as she stood beside Aradia, arms folded, brow narrowed.  

deathshandmaid:

Aradia blinked up at him.  He was still tall, still ominous in his looming and yet the way he held himself always seemed to take away from that.  An amusing contradiction and very much like a puzzle she might find in the depths of her ruins. Glyphs written across cracked and vine-covered walls in nigh indicipherable ancient language.

With Equius she had tended to think it was quite a bit simpler than that.  Aradia didn’t think he was nearly so complex and superior as he would live to believe, but she supposed letting him keep the illusion did little to harm her.  She was indifferent to it even now.  In the end the most puzzling of puzzle boxes—all mixed up gears and sand filled niches—was how she felt about him.

It had been extremely obvious what Equius wanted from her as soon as she entered her soulbot.  But even now, alive and in full possession of her own thoughts and emotions, Aradia could only find a lingering sense of bafflement.  Surely she felt sorry for him, and truly she had not enjoyed his forced attempts to sway her, though that was something she had let go of easily enough.

She simply did not know where she was coming from at all, but Aradia was certain it would sort itself out eventually.  It was really not that big a deal.

Her smile widened a fraction at the offer, honestly surprised he would make it.  She was a little tickled by it!

All the same, she said, “No, that’s fine! I really wouldn’t want anything to get broken.”

“Oh,” Equius said, his voice low. Of course, he knew that touching anything might cause it to break and dent. Although proud of his glorious strength, Equius had never had very much control over it. This was something the troll, at this moment, had decided he needed to fix. He glance down at the ground behind his cracked shades in slight embarrassment, hoping his cheeks did not have even the slightest hint of blue as he felt heat rushing towards them. He raised his gaze back to the fair and delicate Aradia. 

“Hrrk, yes, well,” he began, swallowing hard. Words buzzed around in his thinkpan violently slamming against his skull as they scrambled to form a sentence, a line, or anything that would make sense to someone that wasn’t him. Equius stood aside to usher Aradia inside Sollux’s hive. “It isn’t safe out there.”

He almost regretted inviting her in as soon as he did. He knew that as soon as her dainty feet touched ground inside the hive of the slaveblood, Equius would fade into the background. He would only catch glimpses of his lovely maiden from the shadows of the hive or from the crack of his door to his respiteblock. As soon as she entered, she knew Sollux would probably see her, and she him. The two would be bound in conversation as Equius stood there in awkward silence. It was disgusting. 

Yes, Aradia may be full of sludge. Yes, it probably made more sense for someone of Sollux’s place to give her the attention she so rightly deserved. However, it made him sick to think that such a creature would win the affections of beauty so easily in comparison. What could this lowly class of troll have that attracted Aradia? Why would she not see Equius’ clearly better potential as a matespirit? His touch could be much more tender, as he would have to control every single muscle in his body. He would do it, just for her. She was the only one that he wanted to touch besides Nepeta. Even having built her a life-giving robot, blessing her with the flow of a higher class of sophisticated troll, and having given her his affections, Equius knew that Sollux would likely win her attention and beatpump at the end of the day. 

He lowered his head, the weight of this reality crashing down on his STRONG shoulders…shoulders that did not feel so STRONG right now.

deathshandmaid: 

Aradia turned at the sound of the door opening.  A swirl of dark hair, phosphorescent wings, and tattered clothing following her abrupt motion.  Her ready smile faltered only the slightest bit when she caught sight of who was to greet her, but it returned with full force in a millisecond.  The feelings Equius’ presence invoked remained a messy knot in her chest, only amplified now that she was alive.  She tilted her head to the side, bird-like in her curiosity and amusement. 

“Oh, hello Equius,” she said.  ”I see you’re still alive!”

She contemplated, for a moment, offering him congratulations on this front, but decided it went without saying.  It was very difficult to stay alive sometimes, and she wondered if they all ought to celebrate having successfully made it to this point in time.

Mostly.

Only it wasn’t so difficult as it was at other times, was it?

She certainly hadn’t had much trouble with it! She might not have managed so well before, but she was doing very well now.

So, she stood there, amused and bemused and wore her smile.  The skull of her lusus a heavy weight in one hand, the musicbox in her other, and her Crosbytop tucked under her arm; dirt smudged, wind ruffled, and living with every slow flutter of her wings.

Really, it was a nice day if she thought about it.

This day was the day that encompassed anything and everything that could be perfect in a single day. Equius couldn’t help but stare in disbelief for a moment. Before him, on her own two feet, stood the icon of beauty in this forsaken and glitched world. Even when things didn’t seem so fucked, Aradia stood out from the others as a beacon of perfection. The only flaw had always seemed to be her blood color. Even though he knew that this vile sludge flooded through her veins, tainting them with its stomach turning color, Equius felt that it was an affliction that cursed her and did not fit her. He was of the STRONG belief that Aradia was meant to be born with a higher blood color and that something must have happened to infect the poor troll with the disease of maroon blood. 

Even with this disgusting truth, Equius’ felt his beatpump working harder and his sweat pouring faster when he even thought of her. He pictured her raven locks brushing through his fingers as he would hold her in a tender and STRONG embrace. Oh how Equius longed for the day that his arms would encircle her with their protective hold and her skin would touch his and her voice would sing his praises. How perfect. How beautiful. This was the reality Equius was certain that fate, if such a thing existed, had in store for them. He was meant for her, and she for him, in a dance that moved gracefully in tune with the flow of time. 

Reality took hold of him. Equius’ mouth broke into a small smile. He was happy to see her. But the smile quickly turned into a confused frown. Her eyes…was she…truly dead? If so, were all of them dead as well? What did this mean? His eyes quickly darted to the items she appeared to be struggling to hold. He offered a hand nervously. 

“Would you like some assistance?” he asked her, his voice shaking slightly. He was afraid, in all honesty, to ask her if she were dead. It made no sense that she should be anyway. Still, he wished that her lovely irises gave her eyes the final touch they needed to bring him to his knees before her. He tried his best to bring back his smile out of the confused muddle of his thoughts, but Equius could only manage a broken toothed half-grin. He also was in dire need of a towel as fast as a single troll could obtain one. 

deathshandmaid:

The dust stirred with every downbeat of her wings.  A swirling eddy that caught at the tattered hem of her skirt just as much as it twisted the dirt around her.  Her powers buoyed her almost more than the sweep of her gleaming red wings, and Aradia landed with only the faintest tap of her shoes against the ground.

Night was still settling across the land, washing the world out with dusky colors.  She’d spent the better part of the day cloistered in a convenient rocky crag that the voices of the dead had guided her too, whiling away the brightest hours of day as she listened to their mournful chorus.  

They had ebbed away as the day went on, but when she leaped from the cliff and into the air again they had come soaring back.  A raucous crowd that occupied her head and yearned for but scorned her attention.  She’d been lead like a kite across more wasteland, the very land below her a moaning note of half death.  It rather reminded her of Sollux if she were to be perfectly honest.

Never quite one of anything!

She smiled faintly, straightening, and caught sight of herself in the large, multi-paned window.

Oh, it had been a shock to see what Sollux’ hive had been reduced to, but this!

Aradia found herself arrested by her own reflection, the smile dropping abruptly from her face.

Her emotional havoc must have reflected within the dead souls gathered so coyly around her, because she could hear their agonized shrieking as it rebounded through her head and vibrated in her bones.  She couldn’t fathom that the rest of the world didn’t hear it, though she knew they couldn’t.

She knew those dead white eyes, that tangled hair, and she supposed she should have suspected when she’d caught sight of her clothes. 

And yet, despite her startle, she did not feel the least bit dead.  She felt as alive as she had when she found herself with wings, wings that even now fluttered behind her, a testament to her memory as they shed fine bits of rust-red dust.

After a second, Aradia smiled and her reflection mirrored the move.

It really wasn’t so bad at all.

As long as she didn’t die again, she was content.  In fact, she would go so far as to say she was much more than content right now!

daggerlancekind:

Your reaction is, you think, the most comparable to a startled rabbit. The force and immediacy of his response was enough to send you wide-eyed and a little skittery, and you hardly realize you’re walking just as he told you to until sharp pain shoots up and down your spine and every part of you aches for how strongly your legs have just rebelled against you. The biometal hasn’t finished merging with your nerves, yet, that much is perfect clear; it’s still raw and exhausting in how quickly it’s already taken to your body, and all you want to do is sleep but you can’t sleep in here.

You take another step, and that one’s a little easier, now that the pain has become a constant. It still makes you dip your head a little and bite your lip until you draw blood, brownish-orange staining your mouth, but you can totally handle this. Totally. You absolutely have this. No, you’re pretty sure you probably, definitely do not have this, but what did Vriska tell you? You have to get out of here and you can’t get out of here if you can’t walk.

Laaaaaaaame. You’re doing that thing where you’re un8eliiiiiiiivea8ly 8oring, Pupa. This isn’t even the hard part!

You’re pretty sure that wasn’t what she told you, at least, not exactly in that instance that you had in mind, but you are positive that she probably told you that at some point in time. Or something like it. You aren’t so positive it was exactly those words. That isn’t the point.

The point is that you need to leave, and you can’t leave if you can’t walk. 

So you take another couple steps, and it burns like fire in your legs but they move, even as your nerves feel bloody (they aren’t, but it feels like it, they throb with every motion). You offer Equius a hesitant smile, a nod of the head.

“These are really, really good,” you manage, because even though they hurt that is absolutely true. You can hardly tell they aren’t your real legs, except for the part where they haven’t finished attaching to your body, you’re pretty sure. But you can control them, and that’s what counts. “Why, exactly, can I not leave, I mean, if that’s a thing you’re, willing to say?”

It is clear to you that this little filth is not yet ready to walk outside with these legs. A quick eye notices the brownish-orange sludge drawn from his bite wound. For a moment, you struggle to fight back feelings of nausea and repulsion of a strength you have not faced since you attached the legs in the first place. To have him shed his disgusting blood in your hive, er, block, again…You ball your hands into fists which seems to calm you a bit. Squeeze of your fingers somehow takes the stress out of your stomach, which is desperately trying to dispel its contents all over your block’s floor. 

You take the chair that is behind your desk and pull it out slightly, indicating to the smaller troll that you would like him to have a seat. You suppose he can entertain himself on his husktop for now, seeing as he cannot move anyway. Still, it worries you. He may contact Vriska in an attempt to leave your block…even though you haven’t laid a harmful hand on Tavros that he did not ask you for. The procedure you performed did not count as harm. 

“I don’t owe you any explanation, low-blood,” you reply in a matter of fact tone. It’s true, you don’t. “It is revolting that you think you can betray your place and speak to me like so.” Sure, you appreciated it when Aradia took the lead with you in the past, but this was Tavros. Much less desirable than she, even if she did sit lower on the hemospectrum than him…

Then, the thought hits you. This entire time, you have fought against your own natural instincts to do such things as provide food and promise protection to Karkat. It was a comfort to remind yourself that Nepeta had wanted these things of you, and therefore you were not lowering yourself. Clearly, you cannot shake the horrible weight pressing down on you. Speaking of which…

“Don’t be so damn mean to him, Equius,” Nepeta says, almost whining. She puts her hands on your shoulders, reaching up due to her height. She looks at Tavros with a huge smile and then back to you. It is all you can do not to roll your eyes in disgust. 

“You could afford to clean up your language some more,” you tell her. “Clearly, you have been corrupted.”

“Oh please,” Nepeta says with a laughing snort. “You always say that.”

(Source: standandwatch)

daggerlancekind:

You have been in Equius’s respiteblock for some time now. To be perfectly honest, it’s really starting to wear on you. You’ve had the husktop in your lap for a while, carefully avoiding the sore spot where the biometal merges with your legs – it’s still sore, when you push on it, but it isn’t so bad and at least you have legs again! – but Vriska gave you her advice an hour ago and you still haven’t complied. Advice is always such a loose term when you’re talking to Vriska, because when she ‘advises’ you to do something that usually means ‘do it, Pupa! Doooooooo it!’ And you aren’t one to argue with her, which in turn makes you a weaky weak failure!!!!!!!! so far as she is concerned. Sometimes you’re positive you should stand up for yourself, but that always goes so badly that you just embarrass yourself, so you try to avoid it these days. That makes you sad to think about. You’re going to stop that now.

The point is that you’re still in Equius’s makeshift respiteblock, which is really just a worktable and a robot pile and a tiny space in between because lowbloods don’t have nice big hives like you’re sure he’s used to. You keep meaning to leave, you really do! But you don’t want to make Equius angry, because you’re pretty sure he’s unstable as it is; he’s been staring at that wall for a good half hour, and you’ve had a conversation on Trollian and daydreamed about Rufio who doesn’t exist but you like to pretend he does, and tried to quietly flex your toes and feet and found that you can. And Equius hasn’t moved.

He did say something, though, under his breath. You couldn’t make it out, but it had been so sudden after all that silence that you’d nearly jumped a foot into the air. Scaaaaaaaaredy Pupa! Weakiest, lamest Pupa! says the Vriska in your head, so you try to collect yourself as best you can. Unsurprisingly, the Vriska in your head is not very much help.

She is considerably less help when Equius unfolds himself from where he’d been sitting, broad and tall and a lot scarier than meager little you. You’ve filled out some as you aged, sure, and wheeling yourself around all that time wasn’t for nothing! But he’s still a lot larger than you are, and quite frankly with all of that talking to himself he’s been doing you really don’t want to be anywhere near him. You don’t even have your strife specibus with you, because you are an idiot, holy shit, how did you forget that. You sigh, inwardly, and only some of it is with relief that Equius seems to want you out as much as you want to leave.

“I can, definitely try that, at least,” you reassure him, shifting away as best you can and then pushing yourself up. And oh, holy fuck does that hurt, the biometal has merged just fine and everything is working but your nerves are still raw and you don’t think you want to do this too much. But you can’t stay here, you know you can’t- you force a shaky smile and nod a few times, and hey holy shit it might hurt but you are standing. “Yeah, I can probably, definitely do this! Wow, these are- these are really great!” And you aren’t kidding, because holy wow you are thrilled right now.

You aren’t as tall as Equius, but you might be around Vriska’s height with these legs, and you aren’t sure how she’ll feel about that. That’s okay, you figure, if Equius will just fix it later. You’re pretty sure you would have been taller if she hadn’t crippled you, anyway. “Should I, uh. Go, then?”

“No,” you reply quickly. You can already feel Nepeta’s eyes burning holes in the side of your head. Regretfully, you decided that she could keep Tavros in your hive while you ventured out to recycle everyone else’s data. It is not proper to go back on your word, especially your word to Nepeta. You do your best not to look at her, you already know what her face will tell you. Surveying Tavros, you are satisfied with his height. The legs appear to support his weight properly, but you have yet to see him walk. You take a couple of steps back. 

“Walk,” you command. You expect it will be incredibly painful. Still, you will not allow him to use the legs until he has full walking control of them. It annoys you how much you care about this. It isn’t the smaller troll that you care about, his frail little form resting awkward atop your perfect, majestic creations. No. What you care about are the creations; those fully functional, flawless robotic legs. Your eyes narrow. Only you are able to appreciate the hard work and intricate design of your legs. Tavros will never be able to appreciate them like you do. You cross your arms across your chest and wait for the troll to walk.

(Source: standandwatch)

Your mind floats in what feels like the most gentle calm in existence. It glides slowly through the soft brush of clouds and finally settles down in a warm, fluffy bed. You are not sure if you are sleeping or day dreaming. Reality has bid you farewell for the moment and abandoned you in this sweet place. As you spread your arms wide and close your eyes, you hear the quiet pitter patter of feet coming towards you. Normally, your neck would snap to attention, but now you cannot bring yourself to care. Instead, you expand the limits of your being as far as you can to cover the entire area of your rest. The footsteps stop beside you. Then, the warmth of another body graces the ground beside you. Still, you do not open your eyes in curiosity. 

“Equius, you did it.” Nepeta’s words just barely tickle your ear as they enter. This arouses you and brings your eye lids open. You draw your attention to the troll laying on the ground beside you, looking up into the calm. She has a smile stretched between her cheeks, her eyes your bright and happy memory. You feel your mouth crack into a tiny smile, ever so faint. The job was finally finished. The torment and trials finally done. Without thinking you touch her hand. No screams, no breaking. It appears that in this calm, you can hold your dear moirail’s hand without destroying its fragile bones. 

“It is over?” you ask her. She turns her head to peer into your…er…sunglasses. Her tiny hand closes around yours tightly, giving it an affectionate squeeze. You are best moirails, the best moirails. 

“Yes, everything is good now,” she whispers, small tears of joy gathering in the corners of her eyes. “Everything is good now…”

You realize that your hand is lonely. It is clenched into a fist on your table. Your eyes are not looking back into Nepeta’s but instead staring blankly at the wall in front of you. Her voice does not fill the air with cheerful sounds but instead, the air hangs silent and dead around you. You glance behind you to see Tavros once more. You cannot bring yourself to care about what he is doing, all you hope for is that he does not sever the link between his legs and his body. You do not want to attach new legs to him. Again. 

You notice that Nepeta is no longer in the room. Where she could have gone is anyone’s guess. Perhaps she went back into your mind. Guilt rushes over you. How could such a thought have tainted your thinkpan? Of course she has not retreated to the recesses of your mind. She is not imagined. She is a real, living, breathing troll, just as Aradia when she was in need of a body. The only difference being that Nepeta is not compatible with your robotic bodies. You heave a heavy sigh and glance back down to Tavros’ legs. 

“I know what I said,” you begin, “but as soon as the pain subsides you should try walking. You must be able to walk. I will adjust them as needed.” Hopefully, you did not make the little troll too tall.

daggerlancekind:

You have been in Equius’s private block for altogether much longer than you had intended or, for that matter, could have possibly desired. It’s strange in there, filled with musclebeast posters and broken robots, smelling horrendously of things you never wanted to smell. It doesn’t help that your company is Equius, who quite frankly has always made you very nervous, even before the fiasco with Nepeta and Kanaya. That’s actually kind of an understatement - the fiasco part, you mean, not the very nervous bit, that’s really pretty accurate. Spending this much time this near him is beginning to wear on you, too; you’re to the point where maybe even Vriska would be a welcome sight, even though she’ll just grab your horns and steer you into a wall and make you run on these legs even though they’re still sore. 

But the fact that you have legs, that really makes it all worth it! You had been working on these during the session, until Equius went crazy and started killing people, because once that had happened you weren’t too interested in getting new legs from him anymore. Still… you wiggle your metallic toes and your mouth splits into a grin, disbelieving and utterly thrilled. The place where the biometal hooks into your thighs is horrendously sore, and it only gets more sore when you try to move your legs, but you can move them.

“Yeah, I uh, I think that I definitely, probably can!” You offer him another bright, sharp-toothed smile, even if it’s a hesitant expression. It might upset him, somehow, and that’s really the last thing you want to do. Especially when you’re pretty helpless on a pile of robot parts with brand new legs, new legs he’s examining very closely and if you’re being perfectly honest looking pretty grumpy about. Oh, god. Whatever’s got him narrowing his eyes like that, you really don’t want any part of it. “It still kind of hurts, actually it really, kind of hurts a lot. But that’s okay, I mean, it’ll get better and I can move them, and that’s what matters, right?” 

“Don’t move,” you instruct him. You stand back up and return to your table where you husktop sits, showing the closed memo. Moving would cause the biometal to take longer to heal. Of course, you don’t feel the need to explain this to Tavros. Even if he did try to move, the pain would likely slow him down. Your eyes skim the screen as you sit. Her handle appears. Your beatpump nearly stops. 

You hear Nepeta scowl beside Tavros. Perhaps it is her lack of patience, or maybe it is some form of jealousy. If it is jealousy, you can’t bring yourself to care this time. Her handle hasn’t shown up on your husktop in a very long time. Her face hasn’t graced your sight in what feels like an eternity. The sweet smell of her skin hasn’t filled your senses with beauty in this dark and glitched existence since her death. 

You had always felt that touching her would bring warmth to your life. If only you could reach out and feel her without breaking her. She was too good for the sludge that coursed through her veins day in and day out. The new heart you’d created for her before everything went to hell had finally given her the glorious blue that she deserved. And now, as you fixate on her handle, you can only imagine her figure before you. She stands, a hopeful beacon, beckoning you. You can almost feel her beautiful glow. You drift away into thought…

Why, Aradia, how horrible to find you out here in this dangerous glitchbeast infested land? Oh, Aradia, within a moment, I could whisk you away from all of these mortal dangers and draw you into my safe respite block. I can protect you from those beasts which seem to harm you and teach you, finally, the ways of the class you were always meant for. Aradia, sweet Aradia….

Reality tears through your beatpump. Recycling her data would eventually come to question. You glance back to Nepeta and then at the monitor. Her wishes are to return the game to normal and to return your friends to normal. She wants her body back. She wants to be visible. You cannot bear to tell her no as she stares into your eyes. But that would mean….Aradia….

“Must they all be recycled?” You ask, turned to Nepeta. She stares blankly back at you. For an instant, this glimmer of hope pounds your beatpump like mad. Faster and faster. Perhaps Aradia could be spared this fate. You watch as Nepeta looks down at the floor, small green tears forming in the corners of her eyes. 

“Equius,” she said, her voice cracking. “I just want everything to be okay.” She brings her gaze back up to you, her face clearly broken. “I just want to go back to the way things were. It will be better in the end, I promise. It will end up good…”

You bite your lip, eyes dropping to the floor. How can you turn away those eyes. How can you reply harshly to such a pained request. Clearly, though impatient, this task bothers her as well. She just wants the same thing you do. You look back at Tavros, remembering that he is still there. 

“Do not try to move for another day,” you tell him sternly. “You might sever the biometal link.”

(Source: standandwatch)

You do your best to ignore Nepeta’s frustrated glare through the silence. You know she wants you to move faster. Things take time. Besides, you aren’t entirely sure if you can bring yourself to recycle the data…you don’t think you can handle the sounds of them screaming. The imagined screams tear through your mind, causing you to squint. Thankfully, your shades mask your pain. Perhaps Nepeta’s desire to keep Tavros will work to your favor. You look at his legs and then back to his face. 

“Do you continue to feel pain?” you ask him as you rise up from your seat. The biometal would most likely take some time to heal. It would take time for it to get to know Tavros’ body and for the two to become one. It was beautiful really, the union of troll and machine. Even if the troll in question was a lowblood like Tavros. 

Squatting down beside him, you examine his legs and ignore his face. The face is not what concerns you. Your creation, as expected, will serve him well once more. Hopefully these legs will not find themselves destroyed. Nepeta’s snarl in the corner draws your attention. You glance at her, your eyes narrowing. Her impatience was becoming disgraceful. Karkat’s incessant blathering and horrible attitude have affected her more than you would have liked in this glitched state. 

“You can just leave him here with me,” Nepeta says, moving closer to the two of you. “How long are you going to wait? Don’t you want everything to return to normal?”

You are silent. Your stare obviously does not effect her and so you return to examining Tavros’ legs. 

“Do you feel you can control them yet?” you ask.

You stare blankly at the memo before you. Your brow furrows as you consider a response. Sweaty fingers brush gently over the keys in deep contemplation of the words they should spell out. Then, you draw your hands back. No. You have no intention of replying to this memo. You have no desire to alert the others to your intentions, least of all Karkat, the self-proclaimed leader. It almost sickens you a bit, but then you remember Nepeta. 

She sits silently behind you, her eyes burning holes in the back of your head. The room is so silent and the air is so still that the only faint sound you hear is the gentle intake and release of air from her chest. You sit, continuing to stare at the screen as you think of each of the people responding to it. All of you are trapped in an endless cycle of horror. The glitch is consuming everything and destroying anything worth loving in this world. Nepeta. 

You remember what she told you. If you kill them….if you kill them…their data will recycle…the game will recycle….everything will become normal again…She was right, and it all made perfect sense. You would kill as many times as it would take to restore your friends….to restore your world and the comfort you once knew before every deciding to join this foolish game. You know Nepeta is flushed for him, but you cannot help yourself. You blame Karkat in the recesses of your mind. 

Your ear twitches at the sound of Tavros typing. You turn yourself to look at him. Part of you wants to take away his husktop and stop him from telling the others what you are going to do. Then it strikes you that you have never relayed the details to him. All he knows is that you have created legs for him and are now waiting for him to test them before he departs. He does not know that you will not allow this. You will not allow him into the world where he may die. He appears to be back to normal already. He doesn’t need to die. Nepeta wants you to save him. 

So for now, you just sit there and stare at the smaller troll.